Curtis Strange is back,
so is foreign language
I'd forgotten exactly how annoying Curtis Strange is as a golf announcer, but we got an immediate reminder when he joined the ESPN crew for the U.S. Open telecast.
Strange has impeccable credentials, as a two-time Open
champion and World Golf Hall of Famer, but he has one glaring deficiency:
He doesn't speak English!
For instance, take the word "find." In the Strange language of Curtis, "find" somehow rhymes with "pond."
He has some kind of Virginia backwoods accent that takes simple "i" sounds -- you know, like "eye" -- and turns them into "ahh" sounds. You know, like "Stick out your tongue and say 'Aaahhh.'"
And it's amazing how often the "eye" sound comes up in golf:
• Drive becomes "drahve"
• Five-iron becomes "fahve-ahron"
• Tiger becomes "Tahger"
Here's a typical Curtis Strange analysis: "Tahger hit a really big drahve here, leaving no more than a fahve-ahron to the green on this tough par-fahve. That is, if he can fahnd his ball. Aah'm not sure he can fahnd it in that deep rough."
Hint to ESPN -- they have professional dialect coaches who can help Curtis lose the strange pronunciations!
Thank you Ken! This guy is one of if not the biggest horses arses in golf. He won the back to back opens and bunch of regular tour events, but the guy might just have the most inflated ego out there. Is there really noone else to get this role? What is Azinger doing? He at least was self deprecating and threw some 'zingers' (no pun...)at the other announcers and players. ESPN laid an egg bringing him back. I might even want to hear Lanny Wadkins before him... Doh!!!!
Posted by: Bobby | June 13, 2008 at 11:18 PM
I agree with your sentiments, Bobby. Even speaking the King's English, Strange would still be tough to take.
I, too, wondered where Paul Azinger was, but I guess he's busy picking out uniforms for the Ryder Cup.
Posted by: Ken Carpenter | June 13, 2008 at 11:39 PM
I don't miss the snow, but I do miss the ethnic food and English the way it was meant to be spoken! I left Cleveland 14 years ago tonight, and reluctantly immersed myself in the annoying dialect you decry, in Dalton GA. When my daughter Rosalyn was just 4 we indulged her desire to be a cheerleader for the peewee football team. After a year when asked if she wanted to continue the next year, she said, "No, I would rather play a game than cheer for someone else. [you go girl] Besides, I don't really know what the cheers mean. What do they mean by 'Go, faht, wee-un?'" When we told her it was Southern for "Go, fight, win," she just slapped her forehead and resigned herself to always keep her Cleveland NON-accent. She will be 16 in a month, and has only the slightest drawl, and only around her friends, never at home!
Posted by: Paul Zock | June 16, 2008 at 11:00 PM
Hey, I have nothing against a true southern drawl, but the viginny stuff is uppity southern. I love walking into a diner in the south to the welcome of "How ya'll doin'?" It's sincere hospitality!
Strange though raises the hair on the back of my neck and I am peoud to say that i was with the guy at the Bay Hill Invite several years ago when my friend yelled "Get in the water!" as Strange made his swing from the 18th fairway. It followed Strange's beratement of two different volunteers on the previous holes. He is a first class arse.
Posted by: Bobby | June 18, 2008 at 11:34 PM
Thank goodness for subtitles. It was the only way for me to decipher Strange's dialect.
Posted by: Debbie | June 23, 2008 at 10:29 PM